Why Isn't His House On Fire?

Guest post: Joe Mufferaw, Buenaventura Durruti Rod & Gun Club, Fort Chipewyan.

The English have somehow restrained themselves from burning it down, I suppose. It's Saif "Sword of Islam" Gaddafi's house in posh Hampstead, North London. It's an eight-bedroom mansion with a swimming pool, sauna & jacuzzi and a suede-lined cinema room where the dirty little scrounger can watch his daddy's airplanes drop bombs on impudent Libyan demonstrators.

It is said to have been worth £10 million when Saif bought it a couple of years back with money he stole from the Libyan people. The house must have retained its value at the least, what with the cachet it has lately derived from its famous owner. So, ever mindful of the burden upon London ratepayers, my calculations suggest that for the currency-conversion equivalent of US $16 million that this crackerjack palace should fetch in its fortuitously still fine condition, here's what the English could buy for themselves:


That little darling is what is called a General Atomics M-Q 9 Reaper Drone - and we'd still have $6 million left over. So, and again at no cost to the British treasury, with the remaining loot we should be able to buy quite a few JDAM (Joint Direct Attack Munition) smart bomb sets, each set coming with an Mk 84, BLU-109, Mk 83, and Mk 82 party crasher.


Ordinance specs and details are way above my pay grade but by the looks of them I'm thinking the even the baby one of those bastards should be capable of piercing the velour and naugahyde that Big Daddy Moammar uses to make that fancy tent of his. The Yanks are useless. The UN won't do anything except engage in what ordinary people mean when they use the term "moral depravity," and delivering any one of these nosegays would be way cheaper than a conventional ground-troops invasion, it seems fair to guess. The geezer calls himself king of kings, says he wants to "die a martyr," the least we could do is oblige him. Plus, since the whole point is to protect the Libyan people, we'd have few of those firecracker packs left over in case any of Big Mo's sons or his generals needed to be given the old short, sharp shock. Still, it's always possible that my calculations are not quite right (apparently it's 'buy low, sell high' - who knew?) and there may be shipping costs or other out-of-pocket expenses I haven't taken into account. So, for leeway, and to be extra certain this won't cost a penny to the overburdened ratepayers, here's the next slide in my powerpoint presentation:


That's our very own Saif "Sword of Islam" Gaddafi posing not long ago with the now-dead Austrian fascist leader Jörg Haider, the Muslim-hating Freedom Party gasbag whose politics were so odious that Austria found itself quarantined by Europe while Haider was part of Vienna's ruling coalition. It would appear that Saif's daddy contributed as much as €45 million to Haider's cocaine parties and political campaigns, and the Task Force of the Financial Integrity and Economic Development Consortium is apparently closing in. They should be good for a few Euros.

I have no reason to believe Saif gave any money to Human Rights Watch for its services, but Saif did contribute £1.5 million to the highbrow London School of Economics around the same time he managed to obtain a degree from that august institution. The regents appear to now advise that Saif pipsqueaked on all but £300,000 of his pledge. Maybe he wasn't happy with the grades he got. Our pal Ben is an LSE alumnus and he tells the story at Huffpo, I see. The fine young people at Student Rights are proposing that LSE donate its ill-gotten £300-large to a charity to help victims of the Gaddafi despotism. This is a very good idea. Maybe the trustees could be convinced to go halfers on a single JDAM pack so as to be extra certain that Mo and his boys make no more victims, ever, ever again.

Like I say, this is all above my pay grade. I'm mainly familiar with moose guns, as you know. Just trying to be helpful is all.

I remain,

Joe Mufferaw.