About These Bloody Pandas.

They're not even proper bears. They're actually some class of raccoon. Lounging around all day at the taxpayers' expense, eating bamboo, defecating and sleeping and eating again and stinking. It' scandalous and disgusting. Giant bloody rats is what.

They should be harnessed to a water-mill or something to make some bloody use of themselves, the lazy chiselers. In any event I should rather put pins in my eyes than stand around and gawk at these big possum things for so much as a minute. I'd have them quarantined all the way back to Beijing tomorrow morning without so much as a how-do-you-do.

They should have lent us Xi Jinping instead. He's the Chairman of the Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party.Put him in some sort of pit or cage in Toronto and let him eat bamboo shoots. People could throw pennies at him.

Intead we have these pandas, which are dim, pornography-watching, preposterously overpriced propaganda gimmicks. They don't even have proper names. "Er Shun" and "Da Mao" if you please. "Bowel Movement" and "You Have Come To The Attention Of The Authorities" or something. Horrible creatures. Riddled with diseases.

The Harpers are cat fanciers, you realize. It comes from that. 

As you were.