On Monday, I wrote a post here calling attention to the latest issue of Outdoor Canada magazine, which contains my very lengthy interrogation of the latest developments in conservation, science and salmon in the North Pacific. As it happens, this particular issue of Outdoor Canada also contains a tremendous volume of useful and supplementary information about fishing rods and bird guns and whatnot.
The last paragraph of that very lengthy blog post poked fun at certain unnamed people who sometimes write and say things I consider unserious and unintentionally funny, so I wrote this: "I could be wrong, of course, in which case I'd dispense with the ritual of offering a last cigarette and blindfold and go with Bailey's 'best bolt-action rifle' pick, Sako's 85 Bavarian. A handsome rifle, with walnut stock and a Schnaebel fore-end. The Bavarian offers a choice of six calibres."
For anyone and everyone who found that sentence to be unintentionally unfunny, a few points of necessary clarification.
1. I would have thought that straight away, nobody would think I am someone you would turn to for advice about bolt-action rifles, or any other kind of rifles. It turns out I was wrong. So, to be clear, I am not that sort of person. Wouldn't have a clue.
2. I also would have thought that nobody would seriously think that what was a fanciful little eruption from a persona who purports to counsel sensible choices in bolt-action rifles was actually, you know, me talking. It appears I may have been quite wrong about that, too. So, to be clear, I am not that sort of person, either. I am not that person.
3. Of more immediate concern, it appears I was also wrong to assume that nobody would seriously think that I was counseling or condoning violence against any unnamed person or persons that I may have had in mind, even obliquely, even in the most jocular and "high irony" sort of way. To be clear, it certainly was not my intention. Not even close. I would have thought it should go without saying, but to be clear, I'm not that sort of person, either. Not even close.
4. I am told that there are people who may have been legitimately and sincerely offended or perhaps even alarmed by their reading of that sentence, or their misreading of my intention, which was to poke fun. If this is true, I am very sorry to hear it. Indeed, my intention was to make fun of myself as much as anyone else. That is the sort of person I am.
5. I'm sorry if there are people who might still not get this, and who might remain unsatisfied by these points of clarification, but I sincerely and honestly don't know what else I could possibly say.
That is all.
The last paragraph of that very lengthy blog post poked fun at certain unnamed people who sometimes write and say things I consider unserious and unintentionally funny, so I wrote this: "I could be wrong, of course, in which case I'd dispense with the ritual of offering a last cigarette and blindfold and go with Bailey's 'best bolt-action rifle' pick, Sako's 85 Bavarian. A handsome rifle, with walnut stock and a Schnaebel fore-end. The Bavarian offers a choice of six calibres."
For anyone and everyone who found that sentence to be unintentionally unfunny, a few points of necessary clarification.
1. I would have thought that straight away, nobody would think I am someone you would turn to for advice about bolt-action rifles, or any other kind of rifles. It turns out I was wrong. So, to be clear, I am not that sort of person. Wouldn't have a clue.
2. I also would have thought that nobody would seriously think that what was a fanciful little eruption from a persona who purports to counsel sensible choices in bolt-action rifles was actually, you know, me talking. It appears I may have been quite wrong about that, too. So, to be clear, I am not that sort of person, either. I am not that person.
3. Of more immediate concern, it appears I was also wrong to assume that nobody would seriously think that I was counseling or condoning violence against any unnamed person or persons that I may have had in mind, even obliquely, even in the most jocular and "high irony" sort of way. To be clear, it certainly was not my intention. Not even close. I would have thought it should go without saying, but to be clear, I'm not that sort of person, either. Not even close.
4. I am told that there are people who may have been legitimately and sincerely offended or perhaps even alarmed by their reading of that sentence, or their misreading of my intention, which was to poke fun. If this is true, I am very sorry to hear it. Indeed, my intention was to make fun of myself as much as anyone else. That is the sort of person I am.
5. I'm sorry if there are people who might still not get this, and who might remain unsatisfied by these points of clarification, but I sincerely and honestly don't know what else I could possibly say.
That is all.