McCain hires Joe the Plumber, Obama admits to having huge ears.

“There was a point in my life when I started palling around with a pretty ugly crowd, I’ve got to be honest. These guys were serious deadbeats; they were lowlifes; they were unrepentant no-good punks. That’s right: I’ve been a member of theUnited States Senate."

- Barack Obama.

"Even in this room full of proud Manhattan Democrats, I can’t shake that feeling that some people here are pulling for me. . . I’m delighted to see you here tonight, Hillary.”

- John McCain.

Badda-bing, tish.





Meanwhile, it turns out Joe the Plumber isn't a plumber after all: “I’m kind of like Britney Spears having a headache.”